Patriarchy's guide to your True Love

  1. If you wanna fuck her -- guilt-trip her or otherwise coerce her.
  2. (she probably wants you to, because…)
  3. Your fun together is your being stud, fuckin’ A… as for her, it’s being a slut. So if you give a damn, do you both a favor and take the fall for the lady! Make it look like you’ve played the dumb bitch or something… She’ll get free kleenex and chocolate, you’ll get... bonus points.
  4. Good luck! Do it often, do it to every one of them -- and maybe one day you will find your True Love! And live happily ever after.
  5. lol, I’m just fucking with ya.. there is no such thing as “happily ever after”.. in 10,000 years it hasn’t happened yet.. ok, some got close by gaming the system w/ “arrangements”, others keep putting on their happy faces -- and, still, not one had ever pulled it off for real. But heyyy… good luck ;)
  6. Use a condom, alright? You don’t want your kids to go through all this, do you?
  7. The End!

a billion years till the end of the world